I often work with other coaches and this is usually a good thing. Sometimes though I get dismayed at the number of “experts” who want to force people to change to doing things their way.
When I come across peers who want to do change “to” people instead of explore “with” them I often think of a story I heard many years ago. So long ago in fact that I can’t remember the details but here goes anyway.
Some volunteers arrived in a small village in Africa. Their aim? To tackle the childhood malnutrition that besieged the area. Of course there had been others before them. People who lectured, people who taught, people who tried their best to get the villagers to do things their way. But the people resisted and no-one knew why.
A smart young volunteer had observed that a few of the local babies seemed well fed. These families in general were not suffering in the same way. The volunteer decided to find out the secret of these well-fed babies. She proceeded to learn the language and communicate with the families of these children. As the trust grew in these relationships the volunteer discovered more about these parents. They would take a local worm or insect (ah my middle-aged memory) and grind it into the milk. They then fed the babies and young children this mixture.
Now the village knew that this particular form of protein was edible. Yet the villagers deemed it beneath them to eat and so many did not even consider it.
With this volunteers help the mothers of the well fed children stood up and told their neighbours what they had done. At first the villagers were not entirely enthusiastic. But some courageous first followers tried in secret. And soon the village had much less problems with malnutrition. Success in any language.
I love this story because it shows how simply taking time to see, and being open to the unthinkable, can make the difference between life and death.
Of course in our professions we are rarely faced with such choices. But even in our pedestrian world, it is just better to do things with the people involved. Not to them. Be open. Be courageous. Be wild.